Heinwald

Heinwald: ...Bored. Bored, bored, BORED! ...Curran! Bring me an interesting case at once!
Curran: Just tucker down there, tiger. Cases don't grow on trees, you know.

Heinwald: ...I just had a thought. What if you became a criminal and CREATED a case for me?
Curran: That is a terrible idea. Maybe you need a new hobby that doesn't require someone to break the law. ...Huh? Well, well. It looks like you might get your wish granted after all.
Heinwald: How fine to see such an unusual face in our midst. After all, rare guests often bring fascinating mysteries with them!
Cleo: Well, you haven't changed one bit. And though it pains me to say this, we...need your help. You have to save Euden.
Heinwald: Oh my. This DOES sound interesting.
Elisanne: Interesting for you, perhaps! For us, it is terribly serious.
Curran: You'll have to excuse Heinwald— pretend he has some sort of illness. Now, please tell us what's going on.
Cleo: It all started a few days ago when the prince was invited to a nobleman's manor. Some of us went with him, but we left early and he ended up heading back alone. Apparently, he noticed a ring with a red jewel lying near the nobleman's gate as he was about to leave. He then went back to the manor to see if anyone had lost it.
Curran: I see. Go on.
Elisanne: The daughter of the nobleman claimed to know nothing of the ring, and told His Highness to keep it.
Curran: That's...weird.
Elisanne: I thought so as well.
Heinwald: Fascinating. What did he do next?
Elisanne: Seeing no other option, he returned to the Halidom with the ring. But the next day, the nobleman came to the castle and demanded the ring's return.
Curran: These guys can't make up their minds. I assume he returned it, right?
Elisanne: Not exactly. You see, the nobleman demanded the return of his heirloom, which is a ring with a BLUE stone.
Heinwald: Ah. And the one he picked up held a red stone, correct?
Cleo: Right. The prince told the nobleman he didn't know anything about a blue ring, but...
Elisanne: It seems they are laboring under the impression that Euden stole the blue ring.
Cleo: "How dare you give something so cheap! Are you mocking us?" he shouted threateningly. After a bit, the prince agreed to accompany him back to the manor to try and work the entire situation out—but once they arrived, he found himself under house arrest.
Elisanne: Please, Heinwald. You must help us clear His Highness's name!
Heinwald: You have nothing to worry about; I have already solved the problem.
Elisanne: Just from what we said?!
Heinwald: I have but a single question: Where is the red-jeweled ring the prince brought back with him?
Cleo: We have it here.
Heinwald: If my suspicion is correct, there should be some words engraved on it. ...Words of love, to be exact.
Cleo: Oh, look! There IS text there! It says, "I grant you my love eternal."
Heinwald: Quite so! Then the matter is solved. I will bring the culprit to heel, so please wait here.
Curran: Get in here, you!
Man: Grk... Dammit!
Cleo: Er, who exactly is this person?
Heinwald: The rapscallion who absconded the noble's manor with the blue-gemmed ring.
Curran: Glad we pulled it off him before he could hawk it on the black market.
Elisanne: How in the world did you find this man so quickly?!
Heinwald: The nobleman's daughter told the prince to keep the ring, yes? And yet, she ALSO told him she knew nothing about it. If that was the case, how could she have been so certain it didn't belong to someone there? She made a decision to let the prince take the ring, which means she knew of its origins.
Cleo: So the ring belongs to...the daughter?
Elisanne: But that makes no sense. Why would she allow him to walk away with her own ring?
Heinwald: That forms the crux of this entire matter. Why would this girl have told a stranger to take her own ring away? There can only be one answer: The ring was cast away intentionally. She did not wish to lay eyes upon it again. This is a rather typical state of affairs, to be honest—and it makes this something of a typical case.
Curran: Sounds like love trouble to me!
Heinwald: Indeed. Mostlike the ring holds memories of a person that the woman does not wish to remember.
Cleo: So she threw away her memories...
Elisanne: That explains the red-jeweled ring, but then what about the blue one?
Heinwald: The ring was full of memories of another. Yet it belonged not to another, but to her. From that, we can assume where the red ring came from.
Curran: A present from a lover, right?
Heinwald: Exactly. Knowing that much, we can now ascertain the whereabouts of the blue one.
Cleo: The daughter gave it to someone in exchange for the red one?
Heinwald: Just so. And with her having cast it aside, it seems safe to say that relationship was not successful. Furthermore, I would venture to guess that the red ring is a cheap article, while the blue one is the noble's family heirloom. Which would mean...?
Curran: Some bag of sleaze wanted that ring and tricked the daughter to get it! Of all the lowdown...
Man: Urgh...
Heinwald: Exactly! So if we go looking for people who have been cozy of late with the daughter before mysteriously vanishing, we should find our culprit.
Cleo: *sigh* So the prince was just a bystander who got caught up in this ruse.
Heinwald: Indubitably. Incidentally, I believe the lord of the manor mistook the prince for his daughter's one-time paramour.
Elisanne & Cleo: Whaaat?!
Heinwald: His anger over the prince trying to give her "something cheap" is likely due to the fact that he thought the ring was intended as a gift for his daughter.
Elisanne: We need to sort THAT out right now!
Cleo: Agreed!
Curran: Well, if we don't bring this guy and the ring, it'll all be pointless. C'mon, you!
Heinwald: And with that, another case is closed. However, it seems this castle has no shortage of mysteries that need solved.

Notte: This is bad! Bad, bad, baaaad! ...Hey, wait. Where is everybody?
Heinwald: It seems they are all rather busy. However, do you have a case that needs solving, Notte?
Notte: Yes, and it's TERRIBLE!
Heinwald: Ha ha! Fortune smiles on me this day! I KNEW this castle was chock full of pleasant cases. Permit me then, if you will, to impose here for a little while.
Notte: This is NOT something to be happy about!
Heinwald: Yes, yes. Now please explain the situation to me in detail...

Curran: You have GOT to be kidding me!
Euden: Uh-oh.
Cleo: That came from Heinwald's room.
Curran: I can't believe you just said that! Why did I EVER expect anything from you?! That guy, honestly... *mutter*
Euden: Um, Curran? Did something happen? It sounded like quite the argument.
Curran: Oh, hey there. Sorry for the racket. That bloviating buffoon said something that really got my goat.
Elisanne: The word "bloviating" can only refer to our dear Heinwald.
Cleo: The two of you have been known to argue, but that seemed more heated than usual.
Euden: Do you mind telling us what's going on?
Curran: Dunno what good it would do, but... So, I'm investigating this person who's bedridden, right? But the more I look into it, the more I smell a rat.
Cleo: You think this person is faking?
Curran: Yeah, but I don't have any proof— so I asked Heinwald if he knew of any way I might be able to confirm it. And he said, "Perhaps you should set a few fiends loose in their room."
Elisanne: That's horrible!
Curran: Pssh. That's par for the course for him.
Euden: There's more?
Curran: I jokingly asked if he happened to have some fiends lying around I could use, and he looked me dead in the eye and said, "I shall prepare them for you."
Cleo: Prepare...fiends?
Curran: The little mutant said, "I have to some extent worked out the mechanism by which fiends are produced. Allow me to demonstrate this to you!"
Euden: If there's one thing we don't need, it's MORE fiends!
Curran: Right?! I have friends who have lost their homes or even their LIVES to those things. I don't even wanna hear that stuff as a joke—and I don't think he's joking!
Euden: That's just... Wow.
Elisanne: Creating fiends... Do you remember what we heard, Cleo?
Cleo: Indeed I do.
Euden: Okay, what's going on now?
Cleo: The other day, we were in a nearby village when we heard some rather...unpleasant rumors about Heinwald.
Euden: How so?
Cleo: They were so scurrilous, I was loath to believe them at first. But apparently someone died suddenly in the village recently, and Heinwald came along and...stole the corpse.
Euden: What?!
Elisanne: Oh, there's more. From that day forth, others who met a similar fate were said to have begun roaming the streets at night.
Cleo: Their appearance was human, but they were fiends—or so the rumors said. Naturally, people were terrified these beings would soon begin to attack.
Elisanne: To a man, everyone we spoke to accused Heinwald of being responsible.
Euden: I'm sorry, but this is just... I'm not sure I can believe this.
Curran: Pfffft. What a load of bull.
Euden: Er, do you know something about this?
Curran: No, this is the first I've heard of it. But while Heinwald is definitely...odd, he'd never do something like that.
Elisanne: But he just talked to you about creating fiends!
Curran: Yeah, but that just isn't his style. I mean—
Woman: Um, excuse me? I heard there was a man named Heinwald here?
Cleo: And who might you be?
Woman: Heinwald...saved my life.
Cleo: How so?
Woman: I was taken with a sudden illness back in my village and collapsed in the road. My heart and breathing actually stopped, and everyone thought me dead. But Heinwald rushed to my side before they could roll me in the shroud and restored me to life, so I wanted to come here today to thank him.
Euden: Goodness. Well, yes, he's just in that room over there.
Woman: Thank you.
Euden: That can't possibly be why...
Curran: That's your rumor explained right there. So far as the villagers know, Heinwald ran off with a corpse and returned with a living woman—or an undead one, I guess. It's easy to see how the rumor grew wings and spread from that point.
Elisanne: But why would someone spread such vicious stories when he saved a life?
Curran: The more shocking the gossip, the more excited people get.
Cleo: I'm ashamed I gave that story any credence to begin with.
Elisanne: I, too, was considering the possibility.
Curran: Look, don't be hard on yourself. I mean, the guy gets up to some shady business.
Euden: And yet your faith in him never wavered.
Curran: It's not like I didn't think him capable of it. It's more like... Well, if Heinwald was creating fiends, he would have made ones no one would even recognize as fiends.
Heinwald: Exactly! As if I would create something so boring as a fiend that LOOKED like a fiend.
Curran: Heinwald! You—
Heinwald: Please spare the lecture for the moment. I got carried away with you earlier, and have come to apologize. Moreover, I have a plan for your bedridden target that does not hinge on fiends. Would you care to hear it?
Curran: Hoo boy. ...Yeah, sure, okay. But this better be good!
Heinwald: Who do you think you are speaking to? Now then! To begin...
Cleo: Heh. When all is said and done, they DO make a rather nice pair.
Euden: Like two peas in a pod. Or maybe two nuts in a shell.

Curran: ...Big words from you, pal. Can't believe you thought a joke like that was worth it.
Heinwald: Perish the thought; I am entirely serious.
Curran: That wasn't funny as a joke, and it REALLY isn't funny as a serious statement!
Euden: Looks like you two are tight as ever. What's going on this time?
Curran: Oh, my friend here is just spewing his usual supply of steaming hot nonsense. He's lording something over me about how there's no unsolvable mystery in the world. Only natural that I'd be upset, right?
Heinwald: I'm not lording anything over anyone. I am merely stating the truth.
Curran: And there we go. You know, it would be really refreshing if you'd just admit that this is all your own overconfidence.
Heinwald: And yet it is not; I'm not saying that I can simply solve every mystery straight away. However, provided it comes after substantive investigation, research, and deduction, there exists no such thing as an unsolvable problem. Not to me, at least.
Curran: How is THAT not overconfidence?
Heinwald: If you wish to prove the efficacy of your statement, you merely need bring before me a mystery of sufficient cleverness. ...As opposed to the usual slop you find.
Curran: Hmm... Actually, I bet I DO know a mystery you can't solve!
Heinwald: Do go on.
Curran: Love!
Euden: ...Love?
Curran: You're a quiet, unsociable guy with a cement brick where your heart should be. There's no way you'll ever figure out what love is supposed to be like.
Heinwald: Ha! I was wondering what drivel might spill forth from your slack-jawed mouth. The thing called love is merely a state of mind formed under specific conditions. I do plenty of research into human states of mind. In fact, you might say it is my field of expertise.
Curran: You can say that after you've made someone actually FALL in love with you. Unless you're all talk, that is.
Heinwald: A cheap provocation at best. But I shall play along.
Euden: Er, is this really a good idea? Curran!
Curran: Uh oh. You look very flustered.
Euden: Did you not get a letter from Heinwald?
Curran: Sure, I GOT it—but there's no way I was going to read the scribblings of that lunatic. I threw it on the bed and forgot all about it.
Euden: It's a wedding invitation.
Curran: I'm sorry, what?! Run that by me again? ...Slowly. As if I am the village idiot.
Euden: It's an invitation. To a wedding.
Curran: HEINWALD'S wedding?!
Euden: I was just as surprised as you are— which is too bad, because I was hoping you had a better idea of what's going on.
Curran: No, this is...the first I've heard about it. However, I have a VERY bad feeling about the whole affair. We should find him and ask him about it directly.
Euden: So this is Heinwald's home, eh? It's quite the handsome estate.
Curran: Did you not know? Heinwald is one of Alberia's landed nobles.
Euden: Wait, he's a nobleman?
Curran: Yes, he's a nobleman. Aren't you a prince? Shouldn't you know these things?
Euden: Yeah, I have...a lot on my plate.
Curran: Well, I guess I can't blame you; it's not like he looks the part.
Heinwald: Hello, all. You have arrived early. We're not yet at the appointed day.
Curran: Just shut up for a second, Heinwald. No, wait. Talk. But ONLY talk about this whole "I'm getting married" thing!
Heinwald: If I am not mistaken—and I am not—you are the one who led me to this, Curran.
Curran: Heinwald, you were supposed to try and find out about love—I didn't think you'd actually go and get MARRIED!
Heinwald: So long as I am going to approach a woman, I will take responsibility until the very end of the endeavor.
Curran: I can't decide if that's honorable or crazy. Look, never mind. Just tell me how you managed to trick a woman into marrying you in such a short period of time.
Heinwald: I used no special tricks in particular. I simply told a woman I am acquainted with that as the lord of a noble house, I am possessed of certain financial means.
Curran: You BRIBED her?!
Heinwald: Tsk. You make it sound so disreputable. The woman had something she sought, and I was able to fulfill those conditions.
Euden: Does that...count as love?
Curran: He's right! You haven't figured out love at all!
Heinwald: "Love" is merely the workings of a human heart in search of happiness. Said happiness takes many forms— chief among those being financial stability. Of course, finances are not everything, but it would be the height of tactlessness to deny another person their standard of happiness by imposing one's own.
Curran: Don't lecture me on tactless, pal! You dress like a blind undertaker!
Euden: Who exactly IS the woman you're engaged to marry, Heinwald?
Curran: Hey, yeah! Introduce us already!
Heinwald: I cannot. She has not been seen since yesterday morning.
Curran: Sorry?
Heinwald: If I had to guess, I'd say she thought about the union and was reluctant to consent to its consummation.
Euden: You mean she ran away.
Heinwald: I suppose you could say that. ...Which is curious, as I'd thought her to be rather excited about the whole affair.
Curran: She probably realized she'd bitten off more than she could chew. Once she learned her husband was a total eccentric, she beat feet outta here.
Heinwald: Eccentric? How dare you, sir. I am both sensible and diligent.
Curran: Seems like the only thing your brain can't do is accurately evaluate itself. Please tell me you didn't show her that weird collection of yours.
Euden: Do I even want to know about this?
Curran: It's a creepy collection of weird animals like mutant mice with wings, lizards fused with frogs... You know. Creep-o stuff.
Heinwald: The mysteries of life are not creepy—they are wonderful puzzles of the natural world! Only a fool could gaze upon them and not feel their heart stir in their breast!
Curran: ...And I'm sure she heard this exact same speech.
Euden: Heh. Well, I suppose I can see how that might have changed her mind.
Curran: And then he has the gall to lecture me about love. Ha!
Heinwald: I still don't see how I did anything wrong in this situation. And yet, I WILL acknowledge that there is an element of love which remains... unknown to me.
Curran: Just admit it. You lost. Still, I suppose I was a little careless, too. It never occurred to me how far you'd take this challenge once I made it. I'm just praying that you don't say something like "Oh, I must find more test cases to re-verify my hypotheses" or... Wait. You're NOT doing that, right?
Heinwald: You really do understand me. I must hurry and find another bride. ...No, better! I shall mount a giant sign in the village square advertising my intent to all who stroll past!
Together: WHAAAAAT?!

Shopkeeper: Damn it all! They got me again!
Euden: Excuse me, is something wrong?
Shopkeeper: Someone keeps stealing bread from my shop! I thought today would finally be the day that I got my hands on the dirty thief, but they bamboozled me AGAIN! I've been keeping my eyes peeled, but the SECOND I turn away, my beautiful loaves are gone!
Heinwald: Hmm... Interesting...
Shopkeeper: Wh-what is it, sir?
Heinwald: Shopkeep, do you always keep your bread products atop this wooden box?
Shopkeeper: Yes. What of it?
Heinwald: Hmm... These footprints around it... Thank you. This has been elucidating.
Euden: Heinwald, wait!
Shopkeeper: The heck was THAT about?!
Euden: Hey, Heinwald. Did you figure out who stole the bread?
Heinwald: Oh, that? It was a mystery so base a child could have solved it.
Euden: Er, then why didn't you tell the shopkeeper your findings?
Heinwald: Was that strange?
Euden: Um...yeees? I mean, if you know who the thief is, shouldn't we arrest them?
Heinwald: That is what I used to think. ...Until that moment.
Euden: Someday, Heinwald, I would love to have you give me a straight answer. What moment are you talking about?
Heinwald: This was about...oh, ten years ago? There was a murder in the manor where I lived. Someone killed my father.
Euden: Your father?!
Heinwald: He was an aristocrat, and the head of my noble family, so a thorough investigation was begun. Nonetheless, they were unable to solve the crime. It was quite the curious case, so I began my own investigation and soon hit upon the culprit. ...Like a perfect fool.
Euden: How so?
Heinwald: The man who murdered my father was my elder sister's fiancé.
Euden: That's terrible! Why?!
Heinwald: My father was not a popular man, nor was he beloved. He was a tyrannical lord who brought great harm to many, and most who knew him wanted him dead. Thus, my sister's fiancé resolved to put an end to him for the sake of the people. But in my stupidity, I saw him not as a man of justice, but a simple criminal. Thus, I revealed my findings to the court, and he soon met the headman's axe. The next day, my sister took her own life in front of his corpse.
Euden: I'm so sorry, Heinwald.
Heinwald: I discovered the truth and captured the criminal, but plunged everyone into the depths of misfortune as a result.
Euden: I had no idea.
Heinwald: However, the lesson I took from this is complex. Merely allowing evil acts to slide if they are done for a good reason is not enough to guarantee happiness.
Euden: What do you mean?
Heinwald: An appropriate means of dealing with the bread thief must be found. And so...
Boy: ...All right, there's no one here.
Heinwald: Unfortunately, you have miscalculated.
Boy: Aw, crap!
Euden: So this little kid is the bread thief?
Heinwald: He has been hiding inside the wooden box upon which the bread is perched. An unexpected blind spot for the shopkeep, who assumed the thief had been arriving from somewhere else.
Boy: Who the heck are you people? I-I'm not giving you my bread!
Heinwald: What gall, refusing to hand over something that you have no claim on to begin with.
Boy: Urgh...
Euden: What are you going to do with this boy?
Heinwald: We cannot simply let him run off. You there! Boy! Judging from the quantity of bread you've taken, I conclude you are not planning to eat it on your own, yes? You are clearly stealing in order to slake the hunger of another.
Boy: S-so what if I am?!
Heinwald: ...Here. Take this letter of introduction, go to the manor marked on this map, and tell them you have been hired on by the lord of the house. They will give you good, steady work. Oh, and I expect you to repay the shopkeep in full once you are able.
Boy: Whaaat?!
Heinwald: If you find this disagreeable, I am happy to go track down the local magistrate.
Boy: Yeah, okay. ...Um, but the bread?
Heinwald: You have someone who needs it, clearly. Take it to them at once.
Boy: Thank you!
Euden: Amazing. You knew just what situation the thief was in. That's why you didn't hand him over to the shopkeeper the moment you figured it out. You not only knew who the culprit was, you knew how to deal with him.
Heinwald: It's nothing quite so praiseworthy. That being said... I traffic in truth—and in solutions. However, that does not mean I wish to subject others to misfortune in order to see this done. I never want to experience that again...

Man: Thank you, Lord Heinwald.
Heinwald: It is nothing so worthy of thanks. What's most important is what happens to you going forward.
Man: I'll never stop thinking about what you've done for me and my family. Thank you, truly.
Euden: Who was that, Heinwald?
Heinwald: One of the people who dwells in the territory I govern. Five years ago, he committed a crime and I decreed he should be exiled. That exile is now up.
Euden: So why was he thanking you?
Heinwald: He was the breadwinner of his family. I was worried the exile would affect their well-being, so I have been supporting them during his banishment.
Euden: You've been supporting the family of an exiled criminal?
Heinwald: Punishment is for the one who committed the crime. His family are but bystanders.
Euden: I can't imagine there are many people who think that deeply about things.
Heinwald: Such is simply my duty as the local lord. I am the one who exposed his crime and decided upon his punishment, after all. Thus, I am responsible for his life. But with that being said...
Euden: Go on.
Heinwald: I was able to wait for his return this time, but that does not necessarily mean I will be able to do so for the next person. What if I was displaced as the lord? Or what if I died? Furthermore, it is not reasonable to expect me to care for every criminal's family indefinitely. In the end, it's more about my own sense of self-satisfaction, I suppose.
Euden: Heinwald...
Heinwald: There exists one mystery that I've spent a great deal of time thinking about and yet have still been unable to solve. And that mystery is this: WHY must I solve mysteries?
Euden: Whaaaa?
Heinwald: To solve a mystery is to divulge someone else's secrets. But in order to do that, I often create strife and misfortune. Essentially, it forces me to be a busybody. I understand that, and yet I cannot seem to stop myself regardless. Why, then, do I continue to do it? ...This is the one mystery that shows no signs of being solved.
Euden: Hmm... Heinwald, your mind is sharp, and you have a broad sense of perspective. That's why you're able to consider things and find answers quickly. But there will also be problems that you don't have to solve.
Heinwald: Well, I suppose I don't necessarily HAVE to stick my nose into every case and worry out its solution. And yet, I—
Euden: Er, no. That's not what I meant.
Heinwald: No?
Euden: Making people atone for their crimes is important. But if doing that means innocent people suffer misfortune, they must be helped as well. You recognize that. But does that mean you have to do all of this by yourself?
Heinwald: ...Does it?
Euden: As a lord, when you judge a criminal, it isn't your duty ALONE to help the family. That duty should be shared by the country's ruler—and in a very real way by the actual country itself. That's how I want this kingdom to be.
Heinwald: Hmm... Perhaps my way of thinking has been rather too limited in scope.
Euden: Look, don't misunderstand me— your way of thinking isn't wrong. But it's my job to build a kingdom where what you do can't end as a mistake— and I am going to see that happen.
Heinwald: Heh. ...Ha! Aaaaah ha ha ha! Wonderful! Simply wonderful! It seems you are even more of an expert mystery-solver than I!