Joseph

Joseph
Relationship status:	Married
Spouse:	Mary
Children:	Chris; Christie; Christian; Crish
Voice actor:	Arin Hanson

Joseph Christiansen (Cool Youth Minister Dad) is one of the date able dads in Dream Daddy who works as a youth minister at the church down the street and lives next door. He is the husband of Mary and the father of Chris, Christie, Christian, and Crish.

Joseph also appears in the Dream Daddy Comics published by Oni Press.

Likes / Dislikes

Likes:

Baking with the kids
Extensive knowledge of knot tying
Doing kick-flips

Dislikes:

Lost salt shakers
When dads don't get along
When people think Crocs are acceptable boat shoes

DadBook Profile

Voted Maple Bay's #1 Youth Minister for five years running. Living in my hometown with my beautiful wife and our four amazing kids. If I'm not in church you can catch me out on the open water, setting sail on the seas of adventure! I love playing guitar and crushing my kids at Candy Land.

On a Friday Night you are most likely to....
Lead the community in a fun mixer

If you had one thing to take with you onto a desert island, what would it be?
My six string

What are your turn-ons?
My loving wife

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Ship captain

What's your favorite movie genre?
Feel-good movies

What's your ideal date?
Lovely night on the town with my wife

What do you never leave home without?
The good book

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
How I can be a better man, husband, father

Conversation options

First Date

Creepy Twin Schtick

Egg them on - Like
We should get to baking - Neutral
Go with something creepy - Neutral
Go with something obscure - Like

Spiders!

Spoon duel the Spider King - Neutral
Renegade Option - Neutral

Brownies

Oh yeah! - Like
I hope so. - Like
Sneak another brownie to ease your fear of public interaction. - Dislike

Brownie Creation

We used the box recipe! - Like (gets a Love react from Mat)
We improvised. - Like
It's just how Nonna used to make. - Dislike

Brian's Brownie Bet

I bet I could eat eleven brownies. - Dislike (Increases Brian's Affection)
Just let the man buy his brownies.- Neutral

Selling Brownies to Craig

Remember that one time... - Love
You can't spell “diet” without “die” - Dislike
Tempt him - Neutral

The Freak-Show

They're kinda weird - Neutral
They seem nice - Neutral
Shove a brownie in your mouth so you can't talk - Dislike

Joseph's Apology

Are you okay? - Neutral
What's her deal? - Dislike
Brownies fix everything. - Like

Second Date

Fixing the Banner

JESUS IS CUMIN - Like
JESUS ISN'T CUMING - Dislike
JESUS IS CALMING - Love

Spinmaster Quinn

That's not how DJing works. - Love
Shut up and play the hits! - Love
Play the booty bumpers. It's what Jesus would've wanted. - Like

Spinmaster Quinn's Wife

Susan - Dislike
Sandra - Love
Sandy - Dislike

Dancing with Joseph

Part One

Start with the Lawnmower - Neutral (Best Option)
Roll the Dice - Neutral
The Worm - Neutral (Scares the Children)

Part Two

Shopping Cart - Neutral
Sprinkler - Neutral (Best Option)
Running Man - Neutral

Part Three

Cabbage Patch - Neutral (Best Option)
The Windmill - Neutral (Scares the Children)
Hammer Slide - Neutral

Part Four

Moonwalk - Neutral (Best Option)
Butter Churn - Neutral
Attempt Twerking - Neutral (Don't...)

Big Finish

Attempt an Unrehearsed Backflip - Neutral (Joseph will stop you)
Lift Joseph up Dirty-Dancing Style - Dislike
Death Drop - Neutral (Best Option)

Margarita Zone

Watch out for blown out flip flops - Like
Let's get tattoos of Mexican cuties - Like
It's heaven on earth with an onion slice - Dislike

Third Date

Wrestle Neptune

I didn't bring any talcum powder - Neutral
Luckily I brought my Neptuning fork - Like
Can do! - Love

Yelling at the Ocean

YOU'RE ALL SPINELESS, INVERTEBRATES - Like
I HAD LOBSTER LAST WEEK AND CAN'T WAIT TO EAT MORE OF YOU - Love
MY LIFE GOAL IS TO PUNCH AS MANY FISH AS I CAN BEFORE I DIE - Neutral

Wine?

Wine. - Neutral
WINE. - Like
WINE!! - Love

Pour Wine

Regular Pour - Like
POWER POUR - Love

Revive the Vibe

This view though... - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)
Do you like your mysteries... hot bodied? - Love (Skips Name Your Yacht)
I bet we'll have a whale of a time - Like (Skips Name Your Yacht)
What's it like owning a yacht? - Neutral (leads to Name Your Yacht)

Name Your Yacht

The Salty Swallow - Love
Long, Hard, and Full of Seamen - Love
Fuck You, Whales - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)

Date Responses

"Wow, what time is it? That was crazy!"

"Whooo... that's some good grillin'."

"I could just fall into your eyes."

"Yeah, I mean you, you look great... it was fun."

"That was a great date!"

"I have never had that much fun in my life! T-That was awesome!"

Related achievements

Icon	Name	Description
	Dreamiest Daddy	Go on every date with every dad.
	Margarita Zone	Go on all Joseph dates.
	Escape From Margarita Zone	Find Joseph's secret ending.

Trivia

Joseph's name is a play on biblical figures along with the names of his wife and children. He and his wife have the names Mary and Joseph, who are the parents of the Christian savior, Jesus Christ. All their children have names that have the root, Christ-, who is the child of Mary bestowed by God, along with Joseph as his father. It is quite funny since Joseph is a youth minister.
Unlike some of the other dads, you still have a relationship with Joseph in his bad end and you get dumped in his good one.
He is revealed to be a cult leader in a non-canon and hidden secret ending.
He at one point cheated on his wife with Robert.
Joseph is one of three dads that you can die on a date with - in his second date, if you select all the worst options for the dancing segment, and then finish with the backflip attempt, you will land on your head and break your neck. The other two dads are Brian and Craig.
Joseph is the only character to somewhat be considered the games "antagonist", however this is only due to the non-canon cult ending.

Gallery

Artist: Ego Rodriguez