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Battleaxe

Faction: G.I.Joe
Species: Human
Function: AIDE DE CAMP
Rank: 3 - E-6/Staff Sergeant/Clerical Tank Killer

“ Please sign here.. and here.. and here. ”

BATTLEAXE wasn't a well-known, flashy, high-profile member of G.I. Joe's operations team. She was simply the Aide to whoever is in command. Paperwork, filing, messages, and organizational skills were all used to make certain that office life wasn't tedious. But to be a part of GI JOE formally, she did present other skills such as stunt driving and tank operations. She was a mean hand with an axe, be it battle style to a pickaxe. A trained bodyguard and driver, she was not just an administrative assistant; she was the last line of defense between the enemy and her charge.

History

Battleaxe was killed in action in 2023.

Logs

2020

2022

Feb 14 - Required Reimbursement and Purchases

'From the Desk of General Hawk:'

Ms. Briar and Wyvern,

Please ensure that you fill the following forms out and submit to myself, Staff Sergeant Battleaxe:

For purchases prior to the event, please use DFAS Form 9114, the Application for En Route Travel Advance Request to ensure that any incidentals or pre-payments that this mission will require are authorized before your purchases.

Should there be additional expenses on the trip, the following forms will be needed:

  • DD 1351-2 - Travel Voucher
  • DD 1351-2C - Travel Voucher Continuation

Once you have completed the mission, you will be required to fill out and submit a DD 1351-3, a Statement of Actual Expense and a DFAS Form 9098 - Claim for Temporary Lodging Expenses. All receipts will be required.

Please ensure that you have filled out a SF1199A to insure that any and all approved payments are direct deposited back into your accounts.

I suggest that the two of you fill these out independently of one another when and wherever possible to avoid any delays in the approval process.

Thank you,

Staff Sergeant Bianca 'Battleaxe' Rice, Aide De Camp for General Hawk

2023

Adam DeCobray
  • January 21: "Tamales and Talking" - A light fender bender makes for a nice dinner at a roadside diner in Florida.
  • April 5: "Muddy Joes!" - Some Joes meet up for an obstacle course run. One shows up to watch.

Apr 06 - Regulation Reminder

To: Command
CC: Lifeline, Medical Ops

Re: Active Duty Status: Wraith

As we fall under the combined military regulations for the United States Armed Forces, I felt I would be remiss in not noting that there have been changes to the restrictions upon Active-Duty members when a pregnancy is involved. As of 2019, remotely piloted aircrew, missile operations duty crews and certain fully qualified pilots are authorized to perform their assigned duties during pregnancy without a medical waiver.

Aircrew members may voluntarily request to fly during pregnancy and no waiver is required to fly in the second trimester with an uncomplicated pregnancy in a non-ejection seat aircraft if all flight safety criteria are met. All pregnant aircrew are authorized to apply for a waiver regardless of trimester, aircraft or flight profile.

Waiver requests will be considered for those outside of 12-28 weeks of pregnancy, and for all airframes including single seat, ejection seat, and high-G capable airframes. The owning major command surgeon general is the waiver approval authority. Local medical personnel are not authorized to refuse consideration of a waiver request.

To sum this up, gentlemen, Pregnancy is not a reason to disallow Wraith from performing her duties -as long as- we follow the correct protocols and policies. She is with child, not at the end stage of some terminal disease.

Battleaxe

April 6 - A Letter

A handwritten letter is forwarded to Cobra Commander through the front company he gave Battleaxe as a contact point.

Hello Mr. DeCobray,

I wanted to thank you for dinner and a talk back in January we crossed travel paths. Seemed like a thing to write a formal letter about and all. Proper and everything.

I was running some searches for my cousin’s project cars for parts here on the west coast and came across a few things that made me think of you and our car chat.

Now.. it’s a hot mess, but he’s got leads on another Camaro ss like the one he rebuilt for his wife. And a barn find: it was a dodge dart, right? Now it’s not a ‘73, I think the movie folks snatch those up around here for stuff, but he did snatch the ‘68 hemi so fast he cancelled their cruise. Not sure who was yelling the loudest, him or his wife.

If the idea of a project car tickles an older gentleman’s fancy, I can get you two in touch with one another.

Thank you again for dinner,

Bianca Martinez

April 7 - A Reply Letter

Dear Ms. Martinez,

It was very nice to receive your letter and the fond memories of such a pleasant surprise meal.  I'm afraid I no longer have the time to devote to such demanding projects anymore, but I do appreciate the thought.

Perhaps we could have dinner again sometime instead?  Preferably without needing vehicular collision as an excuse?

I've included my private cell phone number.  Call or text any time.  If you don't hear back right away, I'm probably in a meeting or out of the country, and I will get back to you as soon as I have service again.

Hope you've enjoyed your Easter weekend!

Your friend in automotive interest,

Adam

April 10 - Another Letter

Dear Mr. DeCobray,

I’m sorry to hear that work is so involved for you that your spare time and pursuit of hobbies is sidelined. Funny that, my boss just told me that I needed to take more leave myself, so I get the entire lack of a work-life balance. I’m guessing it’s even harder or worse for someone who runs a business.

I’ve got to take a few days off soon, next week or so, mandated, and would enjoy having dinner with you again. Buried in paperwork right now, the glory of being a secretary this time of year. So trying to get my coverage up to speed as it’s not a good time of year for me to be away from my desk.

Those hated taxes!

I’ll be west coast bound, so let me know if and when might be good for you. And pick a cuisine! I can find a quiet place for a meal, I’ve loads of cousins. ;)

I spent the weekend working on paperwork, had another project dropped on me so busy getting that ticked off.  I don’t know why my coworkers just.. yeah, they can’t be arsed to fill stuff out right no matter how many times I try to show them. It’s a hot mess. Again. Secretary to the rescue. Again.

Hope you at least got some candy and a card.

Your friend in automotive interest,

Bianca

April 17 - Does this make them Pen pals?

Bianca,

Are you free this weekend?  I can certainly make my way towards the West Coast -- I have some business there that could benefit from my personal attention.  As for cuisine -- do you know ANY place on the West Coast where you can get a good Philly cheesesteak?  I swear to God, if they put avocado on it, I will shoot the cook.

Attached is my private cell number.  Please don't post it online -- I don't want to become the personal complaint line for every customer and employee!  I have people for that.

I hope you are free.  I could use some entertaining conversation with someone who doesn't work for me.

Have a good week!  I hope to see you soon.

Yours in simple culinary delights,

Adam

April 17 - Quarter Assignment Updates and other information

Please welcome our new contracted members Katana and Wakazashi. They have been assigned quarters on level 4. Please remember that this is an area that is close to the visiting dignitaries section and the appropriate security levels to be maintained. They're in a double's suite at this time and can be relocated if Command feels it necessary. Welcome to the Pit, your clearance for common areas has been logged. And I have your paperwork so that you're on payroll now and moving forward.

While regulations don't spell out co-habitation between genders as forbidden, do note that cohabitation of -couples- who are not married is heavily frowned upon. Meaning in a romantic relationship. Don't come to my desk asking why, read the book. I didn't write it, I just make sure we follow it to the best of my ability. Siblings are good to share if you are able to not cause MP calls in the middle of the night after someone looses Monopoly.

Concealer and Kamakura have been moved to level 3 into a double-dorm due to.. Ninja-family. I've added that to the reasons for room changes.

This has freed up two singles on level 6. Requests for singles will be taken on first come, first serve basis and seniority.

Which brings me to the reason this is not my early morning report:

Please remember that all room changes need 36-78 hours to process. Duke, leaving me a post-it note on my desk with a cold half cup of coffee and a candy bar with 'There was a confusion and now people are in different rooms.' Is not filing a request or room change order.

Second memo title on the heels of the first:

Hawk I need to talk to you. Or General Flagg - I don't have faith that my coverage can keep up with the reporting this time of year and I may need to cancel my time off.

April 17 - Concerning: Chaplain Position

To: General Flagg

CC: Lifeline

Re: Team Chaplain - Official

Gentlemen, after a deep review of what the position entails -and- what part of those manuals came under our operating charter, I have the following information for you both.

In the majority of the armed forces that we are built from, the Chaplain is an independent position -of its own-. Non-Combat. And has a differing command structure reporting need due to the nature of the position itself. Nonetheless, our operational charter does not contain those limiting aspects and while it is a position listed, it is not one that prevents one of our members from serving in that capacity -and- performing another duty.

We have many of our specialized forces wearing 'double hats' due to the nature of what we were organized as, specialists and the bet. If Lifeline is willing to pull a double duty detail and General, you authorize him to do so. We can work out the particulars in 1 on 1 sessions to codify it and send it up the chain to add to our charter.

Lifeline would be eligible for the inline training but that would pull him from us for a weekend here and there due to the face to face courses. I can tag him as Provisional Chaplain for now, Once the final decision ahs been made, which includes a quarters rotation and grade increase, and he has completed the training, I, for one, would welcome him as a personal Chaplain to our ranks.

Battleaxe out.

April 19 - Possible Pen Pals now

Hello Adam,

As it turns out I am free. Taking the weekend off from on call and taking a road trip out to the California coast. See the beach, eat some unhealthy food, relax. Maybe hit up a car show.

Hmm,  I can do a little digging. Hope hole in the wall with an attitude isn’t a problem for you - best food I’ve found tends to be at those places.

I mean - I like avocado but I agree, it doesn’t need to be on everything.

I’m visiting a cousin but when is up in the air. Here’s my number too - and I don’t give out folks information. There are some crazy stalker people out there and I’m not going to be the person that lets someone get hurt because a contact number got bounced out.

So… yes. I’ll be available for a Philly cheese steak if you are. We can figure out where between now and then.

I’m looking forward to talking to you again. Weird a little bit but I did enjoy the last dinner and talk. And the letters have been something to look forward to as well.

Yours in the simpler things,

Bianca

April 23 - Pen Pals and Foodie Friends?

Bianca,

It was so lovely to see you this past weekend.  I can't believe you found a decent Philly stand in Los Angeles!  Truly you are a woman of great resourcefulness.  It's been a while since I had a friend with whom I felt I could just relax and remember what it's like to be human.  The last time I felt that way, well -- you wouldn't believe it if I told you.  I'd love to see you again anytime you're free.  I can meet anywhere in the world, so just let me know when works for you.  Next time it's my treat.

Your friend with onion and cheese whiz breath,

Adam


April 24 - Hello Adam

Hello Adam,

Sending this quick as I’ve got to repack after the cousins kids decided to go snooping. Boss is sending me off for another work project Tuesday night (I’m already having worries about how bad the index system is and if, god forbid, the filing system is actually being used- Captain Secretary queen of paperwork and all the black ink to the rescue again it seems) and my cousin Miguel is pestering me about the ‘mystery car man’ again.

Days like this I’m glad I’m an only child - the cousins are as rowdy as a pack of pups.

But it’s nice too.

I’m glad we did get to meet up. The cheesesteaks were as good as promised - I’ll have to remember that whole ‘wit’ and cheese whiz thing.

I’ve stupid amount of pto I’m being hassled to take so maybe mid May? Early may? After this kick everyone’s butt in gear is over.

Friends are hard to make, as a kid or as an adult. For me too. Who would’ve thunk a bumper nudge in the back end of Florida would lead to pen pals and a friendship.

I do hope that things get less busy for you and that you’re successful with that project of yours. Seems it’d take a load of worry off of your shoulders.

Until next time

Your friend in cheese whiz and onions,

Bianca

  • April 26 - "Duty" - A raid by an unknown foe hits the Joes hard, very hard.

Apr 27 - Final wishes

In the days after Bianca 'Battleaxe' Martinez' demise, a small handful of people find themselves the recipients of a few things of hers as her recently updated 'In case of' paperwork is located. Not that she had much, her quarters were regulation tidy, personal effects minimum.

Duke is given two small, battered, old boxes, barely 7 inches long, 2 wide, and half an inch thick. Inside each are old style refillable ink pens, the lacquer worn from use over the years, the makers marks nearly worn through as well. Both are fountain style with a set of nibs, one lacquered in blue and black, the other in green and black. One has a small vial of black ink to refill, the other regulation blue and there is a small handwritten note, detailing out how the man likes his coffee, what his favorite snacks are, what little treats perk his moods, and a list of important dates: Birthdays, anniversaries and more. And a single candy bar, of the sort found in late night vending machine raids with a tiny bow on it.

General Hawk is given a small weapons locker containing Bianca's collection of tactical tomahawk battle axes, some well worn from over the years, others newer all covering a range of styles and military nationalities. There's a small handwritten note: "None of the cousins went into the military, I think you're the best person to determine who these should go to for the future, sir. If anything, any of the them in good condition can go to the common weapons pool for training. It has been a pleasure serving you as your Aide all of these years." There is also a detailed snack and beverage preference handwritten list, and a list of dates as well.

Roadblock finds himself given a battered tin filled with small handwritten notecards, recipes written in Spanish and English, some dating back to the 1930's and even earlier, the handwriting changing over the years from spidery to neatly written in block letters. There is a typewritten note in it with a few names, addresses and phone numbers, some of her cousins who own restaurants across the US and a hand written invitation to go meet them if he'd like to learn more.

Lifeline finds himself given a small box. In it is an antique rosary and prayerbook, in Spanish with a note: "I wish you the best in your pursuit of Chaplain and look forward to serving with you when you've finished the training. These were my great-great grandmothers, and I've faith that you can do this for yourself. One day, I'll happily salute you as The Official Chaplain for our Team." Tucked inside the prayerbook is a recipe for apple empanadas.

And 'Adam DeCobray', after the box is x-rayed, checked over, and signed for by someone through that front company he gave to the woman he got into a mild fender bender with, finds a gift wrapped in Christmas paper with a small note: "Saw this and had to get it. Christmas is a while off and you'd said that work picked up so no time for an actual project car. This one's small enough I hope you can get a laugh out of. Just don't terrorize your secretaries with it. We don't like it and we do run the world - power of paperwork." Inside is an HPI RS4 Sport 3 1969 Mustang RTR-X High performance RC Car, already put together. And a small recipe card for green chili tamales.

Left to her successor for her position is both a digital tablet, with mark-ups on all the most commonly used protocols tagged in the file structure, and a handwritten diary of sorts, listing out 'How to survive being in the Joes as a paperwork monkey.' Rule #1: If you don't know - fake it with a smile. Never let anyone know that you have no idea. They sense a crack, they'll go after it with mortar fire.'

Players

Battleaxe was created and is played by Ghost.

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