Duff Gardens is an amusement park based on Duff Beer.
History
Bart and Lisa Simpson visit Duff Gardens with their aunt Selma.
Attractions
The Little Land of Duff
Bart and Lisa ride "The Little Land of Duff" attraction, where they hear this song, repeated over and over:
- Duff Beer for me!
- Duff Beer for you!
- I'll have a Duff,
- You have one too!
The boats float on a brown liquid, most likely stagnant recycled beer, with hallucinogenic properties, which Lisa drinks after being dared to do so by Bart (as well as Aunt Selma's prompting, mostly to prevent them from arguing). Lisa then starts to experience hallucinations and shivers all over. When the security guards return Lisa to Aunt Selma, Lisa proclaims, in a variation of the famous line by the Doors' Jim Morrison, "I am the lizard queen!"
Duff Beer Hall of Presidents
The ride's exterior resembled the Congress building, while the interior was an animatronic theater with five animatronics resembling Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Franklin Delano Roosevelt (presumably during his late presidency due to his being confined to a wheelchair), and Richard Nixon, with the presidents (exempting Jefferson) each having some Duff apparel with them (Lincoln having a Duff Beer can/beer mug, George Washington standing near a beer keg, FDR wearing a beer hat, and Nixon holding a Duff Beer Bottle in each hand in a pose reminiscent to his election victory pose).
The ride starts with a glare of light as Lincoln stands up, and gives the following speech:
- "Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers brewed a refreshing drink from hops and barley."
After sipping a Duff Beer can, however, the Lincoln animatronic proceeds to uncharacteristically (and anachronistically) enter a hip hop persona and crush the can he drank from between his head and hand with the following statement:
- "We-e-ll, I'm Rappin' A.B. and I'm here to say, if you want to drink beer, well Duff's the only way! I said the only way! Break down!"
Lisa was not impressed by the show, calling it a disgrace, while Selma tried to "reassure" Lisa that only an educational program could possibly be this bad. The ride ended up ruined after Bart, trying to investigate whether the Founding Fathers wore underwear back then, removed the George Washington animatronic's pants and revealed his robotic nature underneath, causing Washington to turn and glare at Bart ominously before somehow ending up decapitated and stuttering afterward.
Other Attractions
Other Duff Gardens attractions include:
- the Beeramid (built by 22 immigrant laborers who died during its construction, with Selma dismissing that there's "...plenty more where that came from."
- the Beerquarium ("See the happiest fish in the world..." all of which are near-death from breathing alcohol through their gills and one of which burps like Barney Gumble).
- the Beer Hall of Presidents
- Little Land of Duff
- the Barrel Roll (with a height limit sign featuring a cardboard cutout of Surly Duff)
- the Washing Machine ride
- the Whiplash rollercoaster (which was slated to be completed in 1994. The ride is still operational, despite missing a chunk of the hill)
- Fermentarium (Mentioned)
- Singing group Hooray for Everything (who sing a politically correct version of Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" and are based on Up with People),
- a direct parody of Disneyland's Main Street Electrical Parade (which Lisa stumbles into when she's high on the tainted water from The Little Land of Duff ride)
- a bench (which Selma sarcastically proclaims after telling Bart to take off the Beer Goggles at the gift shop)
- a complaint line (where a woman who sounds like Lunchlady Doris tells a patron to "get bent". The line is almost as long as the one for The Little Land of Duff)
In the gift shop, Bart spots "Beer Goggles", a sort of glasses that mimics what drunks see. Aunt Selma appears young, feminine, and beautiful to Bart and also somehow, alters her voice. Later, they see the mascots of Duff Beer, The Seven Duffs: Sleazy, Queasy, Edgy, Surly, Tipsy, Remorseful, and Dizzy, though Tipsy, Queasy, Surly, and Remorseful are shown. Sleazy doesn't appear until season 11's "Pygmoelian" as the Seven Duff member who gives out pink elephant balloons and Dizzy, Edgy, and Tipsy are only canon to the Simpsons comic books and video games.
Behind the Laughter
Duff Gardens is a parody of Busch Gardens and Disneyland, including the "Little Land of Duff" ride, which is a direct parody of the Disneyland ride "It's A Small World".
According to the DVD commentary, the "Little Land of Duff" song originally had two verses, but was cut to one to make it more annoying (and thus funnier).
