My Kingdom

"My Kingdom"

Season	Episode
Two	Nineteen

Writer

April Pesa

Director

Michael Spiller

Air date

March 27, 2003

“Listen, there, Flowers: I know that your pink scrubs are balled up at the base of Barbie's bed three nights a week -- and congrats on that, really -- but if you're gonna go ahead and have a show-down with everyone who hassles her, then, gosh, you two aren't gonna have any time for that sweet, Aryan sex that you love so much! ”— Dr. Cox

"My Kingdom" is the nineteenth episode of season two of Scrubs. Dr. Cox convinces the hospital staff that Kelso died while he is away golfing. J.D. begins a surgical rotation and tries to fit in with the other surgeons. Elliot and Paul Flowers (Rick Schroder) have relationship problems.

Synopsis

J.D. and Turk

At lunch J.D. is embarrassed at how nerdy some of the medical residents are. Elliot reminds him that the next day he begins his surgical elective. The next morning Carla takes a picture of him and Turk wearing green scrubs. At the hospital, J.D. doesn't quite fit in with the surgeons. He annoys them and they give him a hanging wedgie in his white underwear and Turk helps him down.

At lunch, J.D. mocks Turk in front of the other surgeons for participating in ballet in college. Turk is upset that J.D. would sell him out so easily. At the bar Turk tells J.D. that he has always been his friend because he has never been afraid to be himself. J.D. takes this to heart and sits with the nerds the next day at lunch and gives himself the nickname "King of the Nerds".

Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso

Dr. Cox gets fed up with the old computers and chucks one out the window. He demands Dr. Kelso buy a new one but learns that the equipment isn't getting replaced because Dr. Kelso has been spending the money on a new portrait of himself and a trip to Hawaii. Cox asks Kelso if he knows what everyone thinks of him, but Kelso replies that he doesn't care one bit. While the Chief is on his golf trip Dr. Cox fools everyone into thinking that Dr. Kelso is dead by putting a memorial plaque on the portrait, much to the absolute elation of Ted. Dr. Cox then regrets his prank on Kelso after all of his stuff is removed and his parking spot is taken away. Kelso returns to an empty office and Cox finds him sitting miserably on his briefcase. Perry admits that the prank went too far and hands over a blank cheque to cover the damage, but also knows that Bob is upset mostly because no-one was upsethe was dead, proving that he really does care about his perception. Dr. Kelso caves and buys a replacement computer, but keeps it for himself.

Elliot and Paul

Elliot and Paul start having relationship problems after Elliot says "I love U2" (as in the band) but Paul takes it the wrong way. She starts to realize how demanding he is in their relationship and decides to end things. She tries to break up with him at the park but because he is bossy he tells her exactly how she should break up with him. He leaves upset that she chose to break up rather than talk about it. Elliot finds herself regretting what she did.

Recurring Themes

More: Fantasies • Flashbacks • J.D.'s girl names • Janitor's pranks and lies

Fantasies

When Turk and J.D. enter the hospital, they are dressed like Pimps and get all the girls, because they are surgeons.
Janitor cuts off J.D.'s arm and slaps him with it. When the fantasy ends, it turns out that both J.D. and the Janitor were thinking the same thing.
J.D. levitates above the table, as King of the Nerds.

Flashbacks

J.D. moves into his dorm in college.
J.D. graduating college, with an earring.
J.D. practices ventriloquism in med school.
J.D. tries bronzer as an intern.
Turk practices ballet in college.

Janitor story

Janitor buys a circular saw, but J.D. points out there is nothing he can use it for, and this is confirmed when J.D. catches Janitor cutting a twig with it. Janitor then finds something he can use it for, when Dr. Kelso's desk is too large, and needs to be cut smaller.

Music

♫ List of music featured in Scrubs

"The Payback" by James Brown
"Samantha" by Keren DeBerg
"Poison" originally by Bell Biv DeVoe, performed by Judy Reyes and Sarah Chalke.
"Folgers Coffee", "Mennen", and "McDonalds" jingles, performed by The Blanks.
"Blind, Deaf and Dumb" by The Churchills
"This Is Round" by Treeball
"High Time" by Michael Penn

Quotes

[Ted's band singing an ad]

“TED! You guys suck!”— J.D.

“Boing-Fwip!”— The Worthless Peons (singing)

“He's with Jesus, now. Tough break, Big Guy”— Laverne

“I have... no words.”— Dr. Cox

“How about "handsome"? Or "glorious"?”— Dr. Kelso

“Appletini, please, easy on the 'tini.”— J.D.

“No problem, lady.”— Bartender

Trivia

This is the first episode in which we see Dr. Cox meet the Janitor.
This is the first time J.D. orders an appletini on screen.
This is the first episode in which a reference to Dr. Kelso's age is made. It is also the first indication that no one truly knows his age as the plaque placed by Dr. Cox states he was born in 1947. Seeing as he retires in 2008 at the age of 65, Dr. Kelso's true year of birth is 1943, a fact that is seemingly unknown by anyone in the hospital.
In the Italian language dub of this episode, the "I love U2" gag is replaced with "Ti amo Bono" which translates to "I love you Bono", because "Bono" in Italian also means "handsome".
This is the first appearance of the pimp swagger walk fantasy, which is seen again in Season Eight's "Their Story II".
After the nurse pulls off J.D.'s tail at 3:50 she smacks his bottom.

References

Turk calling J.D. "Arnold" is a reference to bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger.
When Dr. Kelso says "You think it's funny that one of the surgeons paid his dwarf cousin 200 dollars to show up at rounds and sing 'Ding dong, Kelso's dead!'?" the dwarf cousin was alluding to the Munchkin's singing "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" in The Wizard of Oz.
This episode marks the second time Pat Benatar is mentioned.
This is the second episode where J.D. wears something other then blue scrubs, after the white coat in "My New Coat".