Newspaper

This item is no longer obtainable.

There's no way to get this item in-game, but as long as you have it you should be fine.
There might be other ways to obtain this item, but it might not be ever available again.

"Nothing hits harder than a big chunk of reality."

―Strude

Summary

The Newspaper is an extremely strange, limited-edition weapon which was distributed during R2DA's Release Event.

The Newspaper is nothing special, but at least it's cool to have.

Background Story

The front article of this copy of The Daily Blox is as it follows.

The Future of Our World - "Green Flu"

Is this the end?

X/XX/XXXX

We at The Daily Blox have always strived for excellence and quality in how our news is delivered. For decades, we have been the most reliable and unbiased source of news everywhere around the world. Given recent reports, the world's population is quickly falling. These infected that began to show up only three weeks ago have truly done a number on us. We're sorry to say that this will be our last issue.

Perhaps we should be focusing on other things. Perhaps we should be running, trying to get somewhere safe. In the end, it has always been about you, dear reader. Although this newspaper may not seem like much, this final issue has been lined with aluminium. Roll this up and it may not be too bad against the things that we all wish would just disappear. Good luck. We at The Daily Blox wish you well, and from the bottom of our hearts, thank you all for reading.

Other details include an ad about some sort of pizza place. There's a coupon here that you can cut out for a special deal, but it's already expired.

Newspaper boxes once held this issue within their confines. None are left. Consider yourself lucky if you ever see an intact copy.

Tips

This weapon does not trip zombies, so keep that in mind while facing an Edgar or a Leaper.
- It's better to use the Newspaper to just pick off weakened zombies than to fully rely on it to do the killing.
Like all the other melees, this grants immunity while you are swinging this weapon.
- Don't be afraid to use this in a pinch or if you're out of ammo.
If you have the Bell, this melee is basically pointless.
- The Bell is essentially a Newspaper upgrade.

Pros

Low Energy Usage
Rapid Swing Rate

Cons

Event Exclusive
No Multi Hit
No Abilities

Trivia

This is the second melee to be added to R2DA.
- That is, if you don't include the Hammer.
This is the first melee to be offered in the Event Store.
This is technically worth 9,990$.
- A batch of 100 Tickets fetches for 100R$ each and 100R$ can also get you 1,000$.
PlaceRebuilder actually had to hit himself with a newspaper in order to make the impact sounds for the Newspaper.
The official texture is found on the PaperHat.
This is the first event melee to have a Golden skin.