“I took some fellow travellers deep into the desert on a peyote safari a few nights back. We faced the Inner Light and communed with the Lizard King.”
CJ:
“Sounds fun. How'd it go?”
The Truth:
“That's the problem. I don't know. I'm in Los Santos. I woke up in a Japanese bathhouse about an hour ago. I have no idea how I got here or where the others are.”
Carl receives an unexpected phone call from The Truth. Apparently, he, a band and their manager went on a "peyote safari" in the desert a few nights earlier. He tells Carl that he has woken up in Los Santos, not knowing how he got there, and he doesn't know what happened to the others. So, he asks Carl to travel to Arco del Oeste and make sure they are still alive.
Carl gets a vehicle and heads out to Bone County. Once atop Arco del Oeste, he starts looking for the band, and finds their frontman, Maccer, and manager Kent Paul. Maccer explains that they passed out from the drugs, while Carl offers them a ride to town. Kent Paul tells Carl to take them to Caligula's Palace in Las Venturas where his friend, Ken Rosenberg, works.
Carl, Maccer and Paul get into Carl's vehicle and begin to drive back to Las Venturas. Carl and Paul ask where the other members of the band are, to which Maccer replies that he remembers "snakes", so Carl drives them to the Snake Farm west of Verdant Meadows. Once there, the snake farmers notice Maccer and Paul, who were involved with the group. Angered by this, the group point guns at the trio. Carl can kill them or simply escape, before driving Paul and Maccer to Caligula's Casino on The Strip.
If the farmers are left alive, they will aggressively pursue the trio all the way to Las Venturas. Once Carl reaches the casino, the farmers will catch up and a fistfight will ensue between both parties. All the farmers must then be killed in order to complete the mission.
Once there, they go inside and make their way to the office. They find Ken, who appears to be distressed. Kent Paul introduces him to Maccer and Carl. Rosenberg explains his very "depressing and tough situation" by informing Paul that every Mafia family is pressuring Rosenberg, and, to make things "worse", Paul is here to witness it. Paul asks Carl to give them some space, and that he will call Carl later. Carl leaves the office and the mission is complete.
Outside the casino, Carl calls Wu Zi Mu and explains that he has found a way to survey Caligula's Casino for the heist in a manner which will not cause suspicion. Carl asks Woozie to meet him soon.
Mission Objectives
In order to complete the mission the player must:
Go find Paul and Maccer
You need to find a vehicle with at least two passenger seats
Go and pick up Paul and Maccer
Take Paul and Maccer to the snake farm
Get them back to Rosie's casino in Las Venturas
If the snake farmers were left alive, they must all be killed outside of the casino
Reward
The reward for this mission is an increase in respect. The mission Intensive Care is unlocked and a new mission icon appears in Caligula's. The Combat Shotgun becomes purchasable at Ammu-Nation for $1,000.
Might be. Might be a government algorithm trying to pick your brains so don't admit anything.
Carl:
Whatever man. Whassup?
The Truth:
I need a favour Carl. Thought I could cash in some karma chips.
Carl:
Your credit good.
The Truth:
I took some fellow travellers deep into the desert on a peyote safari a few nights back. We faced the inner light, and communed with the lizard king.
Carl:
Sounds fun. How'd it go?
The Truth:
That's the problem, I don't know. I'm in Los Santos. I woke up in a Japanese bathhouse about an hour ago. I have no idea how I got here or where the others are.
Carl:
They're probably fine.
The Truth:
I don't think so. They were Brits - a band and their managers. They have no experience about the desert.
Carl:
Ok, where'd you make camp? I can go have a look.
The Truth:
I took 'em up Arco del Oeste - fantastic sunsets. Best start looking for them up there.
Carl hangs up and drives to Arco del Oeste in Bone County. He looks for the band members.
Carl:
Hello? Hey anybody out here? Truth sent me.
Two members of the band, Maccer and manager Kent Paul, are laid out on the ground, very dazed. Maccer hears Carl and calls out to him.
Maccer:
EH! Over 'ere!
Carl:
Hey man. You alright?
Maccer sits up, holding his head.
Maccer:
'Kin 'ell. I'm fucking hanging!
Kent Paul also sits up, also holding his head.
Paul:
Stone me bloody crows. Where am I?
Maccer:
I dunno mate. I was having a dream; I was wanking over some fat bird's tits when this twat turned up.
Paul angrily gets to his feet and walks over to Maccer.
Paul:
Maccer you fucking psycho! You did it again didn't you!
Maccer:
That peyote was shite. You were lucky I brought some tabs along.
Paul:
I've told you a million times not to put stuff in my fucking drink!
Paul kicks Maccer over.
Maccer:
Oh, piss off, kidder!
Paul (to Carl):
Who are you again?
Carl:
Oh I'm a friend of The Truth's. He said you guys might need a ride into town or something.
Maccer:
But I'm a fucking raspberry!
Paul:
You're not a fucking raspberry!
Maccer:
I can't feel me legs, our P. I've wanked the use out of them.
Paul:
Just stand up you soppy c*nt. We go through this every weekend.
Maccer slowly gets to his feet.
Maccer:
Ah! Ooh!
Carl:
Man, what the hell was y'all doing last night?
Maccer:
Anybody got a rag?
Carl:
So where am I taking y'all?
Paul:
I've got a pal, Rosie. He's got some casino gig going down in Venturas. Sweet.
Carl:
Alright.
Maccer holds his hand out to Paul.
Paul:
Fuck off, string.
Maccer:
Oh, charming.
Carl:
Alright ladies, let's go.
Paul (to Maccer):
Come on. Fucking Northerners...
Maccer:
Well it felt like I couldn't feel 'em, honest.
Carl, Maccer and Paul get in Carl's car and drive away.
Carl:
So where's the rest of the band, guys?
Paul:
Maccer, where are the boys?
Maccer:
I don't fuckin' know, do I? I remember snakes, lots of snakes.
Carl:
There's a snake farm not too far from here. We can go check it out.
Maccer (to Paul):
You look as pale as a drowned baby, man.
Paul:
Oh God, I think I'm gonna chuck.
Maccer:
P, what you need is some food down ya. A fried egg sarnie with mayonnaise will sort it. Or what about a pickled egg?
Paul (to Carl):
Pull over, NOW!
Carl stops the car and Paul gets out. He runs to the side of the car and vomits profusely before getting back in. Carl drives them to the Snake Farm just south of Verdant Meadows Airfield.
Carl:
Here we are. Look familiar?
Maccer:
Looks just like Salford to me.
Paul:
What are you talking about?
Some gang members at the farm spot the trio.
Leader:
Take a gander at 'em fellas. Is that 'em?
Deputy:
That there city boy has gone and been with my prize hog! Now I don't even get no sugar from her!
Man:
And that one done screwed my sis! Had a terr'ble aching in my grinds ever since!
Woman:
I'm gonna slap you silly for giving me and my fella the red bumpies!
Leader:
What'n tarnation? I'm a fixing to give ya a whoopin' for what you gone and done to my young'uns!
The gang open fire on the trio but Carl kills them. Carl, Maccer and Paul get back in Carl's car.
Carl:
Seems you boys had a good time.
Maccer:
Hey, what about the band?
Paul:
We'll just have to pray they've made it to civilization. Keyboardists and drummers are ten-a-penny anyway.
Carl:
Which casino is it?
Paul:
It's called Caligula's. It's on the strip somewhere, I think.
Maccer:
What kind of tits does this Rosie have? Big, floppy sausage tits? Empty saddlebags, or bee stings?
Paul:
Rosie's a man! And stop touching yourself!
Maccer:
It's just for comfort Pablo. This is a stressful situation, man.
Paul:
You're fucking telling me it is!
Carl:
Aw, can it, you two!
Maccer:
Hey, he started it!
Carl arrives at Caligula's Casino on the Las Venturas strip and he, Paul and Maccer head inside.
(If CJ did not kill the snake farmers before arriving to Caligula's Palace)
Carl:
Shit! Here come them snake farmers!
Carl:
Alright, I've had enough. Let's finish this!
Maccer:
Oh, I'm gonna grab some big tits, man!
Paul:
Oh, bollocks. In for a penny, in for a pound
Carl, Paul, and Maccer engage on the fistfight against snake farmers
Maccer:
Yeah, that's how we do it in Salford, man.
Paul:
Don't make me slap you, sunshine!
The snake farmers are killed and the trio head inside to the Caligula's Palace)
Paul:
Come on then. Let's go in and see Rosie.
Ken Rosenberg's office. Ken is lying on his couch looking very stressed. Paul knocks on the door and Ken's guard opens it.
The guard lets Paul in. Carl and Maccer follow him.
Paul:
Rosiiieee! How are you, me old son?
Ken:
I pray that one day I can escape my perpetual torment and retire in peace and comfort a million miles away from anyone I've ever fucking known, and instead, I get this.
Paul:
Come on, it's me, Kent Paul.
Ken:
Well, hello Paul, what a pleasant surprise. (Referring to Carl and Maccer) Who the hell are these guys?
Paul:
These are my boys - Maccer and Carl.
Carl:
Wassup?
Maccer:
You want any Speckled Doves, boss? I'm peaking on one right now. Top of the range, man.
Ken:
Well, it's fitting. As I sit here up to my neck in a river of shit, with every Mafia gorilla from Liberty City to Los Santos pissing in my face, that you, Kent Paul, should witness it.
Paul:
What's the matter son?
Carl:
Too numerous, oppressively insurmountable and depressingly fucking typical, even to mention.
Paul:
It's alright bruv, Paulo can help. (To Carl) Give us some space would you son. I'll give you a tinkle later.
Carl:
Alright, for sure.
Carl heads to the door and Maccer follows him.
Paul (to Maccer):
Not you, Maccer.
Maccer:
Oh, you twat.
Paul:
Unbelievable.
Carl leaves the casino. Once outside, he calls Wu Zi Mu.
Carl:
Hey Woozie. I think I found a way to scope Caligula's Casino without causing too much suspicion. We can talk later.
Post-Mission Phone Call
Carl Johnson: Speak on it.
Kent Paul: Awright, Carl - it's me, Paulo. Listen, Rosie's in a tangle and I think you're the geezer to sort it out for us, OK, sunshine? Slip round the office and see me, double quick.
Carl Johnson: Yeah, thanks man, I appreciate the opportunity.
Retrying this mission after failing it allows skipping to the scene where Carl finds Paul and Maccer.
If the player brings a one-passenger vehicle, one of them will get in, and then get out, and both will start arguing who will go with Carl.
A rare glitch may occur with the drivers. If Carl is flying a Maverick with Paul and Maccer on board and the player looks behind the vehicles, the group's Waltons may spawn in the sky and fall straight towards the ground.
A glitch may occur if the player skips the cutscene with Paul and Maccer, and then tunes the radio to WCTR. WCTR's audio will be replaced by the audio that was supposed to play during the cutscene, with standard WCTR programming resuming after it finishes.
After the player has picked up Paul and Maccer, Paul will say that he's "not feeling right", in response, Maccer will deliberately suggest that he should eat greasy food. As a result, Paul will demand that the player pull over and he will get out of the car and vomit.
If the player does not pull over, Paul will vomit in the vehicle, triggering some interesting dialogue.
After Paul throws up, Maccer tells Carl to stop the car so he can urinate. If Carl doesn't stop the car, Paul will tell Maccer to "point it out the window". If Carl does stop the car, Maccer will get out and urinate for a few seconds, before going back inside.
The introduction cutscene for this mission is a reference to Oliver Stone's 1991 biopic about The Doors, and particularly its frontman Jim Morrison. The Truth mentions going out into the desert with a band to do peyote and getting lost. Peyote is one of many psychedelic drugs similar to LSD, which Morrison was known to use. The Truth's voice on the phone bears a resemblance to Morrison, and he also mentions "communing with 'The Lizard King'", which was one of Morrison's nicknames. The Truth also bears a resemblance to The Doors drummer John Densmore, although this is probably a coincidence.
The title of this mission is most likely a reference to Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, which is one of the most well-known works of Spanish literature as well as a popular musical.
The Waltons are locked after completing the mission, and therefore cannot be driven.
